15th April 2016 ….
I have often wondered whether my prayers are too much about me - not that I am asking for things or for immunity against all the worlds sickness and evil but that I am so often asking the Lord to draw me closer, to give me wisdom and insight and knowledge so that I might correctly proclaim His excellence, so that when I speak or teach I do not lead anyone down the path of error - so that I always and only speak what He would have me say.
Today my prayers ran along those same lines - O Lord, help me to be the wife, the mother, the sister the friend that I need to be so that those I love come to see You in me, come to know the truth that You are the great and holy God and that You care about each one of them. But as so often happens lately I finished feeling that perhaps I should focus out more - focus on the 'big' and 'important' things - the things that would make this world a better place. And then I read Psalm 86 and it was as if the Lord came so close and said 'well done My child, well done, you are speaking with me in exactly the way I want you to - you are listening to My Spirit and being led by Him and I promise to answer your prayers'.
Look at how David opens, 'incline Your ear to me O Lord, and answer me for I am afflicted and needy'. It was for himself that David prayed - he wanted God to listen and to answer but he wanted it as a sign to those around him, a sign that would show them that God is mighty and does wondrous things - that He is so mighty that He can even change someone like me. He asks the Lord to teach him and show him how to walk in truth; he asks for God to unite his heart because he knows his own fickleness and his tendency to distraction. He thanks the Lord and knows that God will answer because he knows that he is loved by the One who is Love and that he is now and forever delivered out of darkness into the marvellous light of God's kingdom.
And all I could do was say thank You. Thank You for answering my prayer and my doubt, thank You for showing me that I can come to You with anything and everything because You love me and want to hear any and all my prayers. Thank You that You are leading me to pray for closeness and I can know that You will always answer that prayer.
Praise You Lord for You alone are God and worthy of all that I have and all that I am - and thank You Father for teaching me Your way and uniting my heart to fear Your name. I love You Lord.
